I also asked the parents on our Facebook page for their ideas – a lot have made it into this post but you can see all their great suggestions here.

So here they are. The ultimate list of Montessori activities for traveling with kids…

You are never going to keep a toddler or young child quiet for long. But these activities might engage them for a few minutes between eating snacks, walking around the plane, checking the map, and listening to audio books.

• Soft books with opening and closing, threading and velcro are great for busy hands
• A coin box with a selection of coins can keep a 16-month old focused trying to master the key and the posting
• Bring a selection of Schleich animals – nice and sturdy for long trips
• Fuzzy felt sets or a DIY version are light and entertaining. Limit the number of pieces you bring or you may find yourself picking up a lot of pieces!
• Options for doodling – magnetic doodle board or aquadoodle or a stamping kit
• Magnetic sets like this or this are also great for confined spaces

Getting creative

Never leave home without some basic crafting supplies – here are some cute supplies to get you started. Note: no scissors in hand luggage on planes (I might have just done that quite a few times already).

• 3-pack notebooks from Hema
• home made playdough
• customisable travel journals from notonthehighstreet.com
• my favourite Stabilo 3-in-1 woody pencils

Stickers

One activity you probably hadn’t overlooked. Not only can you find cute animals and travel stickers, here are some other sticky ideas:

• Washi tape (patterned Japanese paper tape) – this tape is removeable so it would be perfect to make impromptu roads for vehicles, for tic-tac-toe, for tearing into pieces, and sticking on your favourite parent
• Bandaids – useful if you cut yourself, but also fun for playing doctors, or applying to your teddy
• Pocket passport – you could make your own or buy a pretend passport for your child to place stamps in and stickers. Love this.

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So here we go!

1. Show, not tell

Here’s one from me that was inspired by a photography video I was watching. Their tip was to move your feet – don’t rely on your zoom lens; get up and move around to get a better photograph. I see the same with kids. Rather than just giving instructions, get up and show your child. It may take more effort initially, but your child will pick things up quickly.

2. Say one word

I love this one. Instead of nagging them, we can just use one word and they can work out the rest. Great for kids that don’t like to be told what to do.

It’s also brilliant modelling for your children. My son once said to me, “laces”. I looked down and I was indeed standing on his shoelace which he was trying to tie. A nice way for him to tell me instead of rolling his eyes at me and saying, “Muuuum you’re standing on my shoe lace. How am I supposed to get ready?!”

3. Write a note (even if they don’t read yet)

This tip (and #2) are from the book that changed the way I parent, “How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk” by Faber & Mazlich (click here for a summary of the book). You don’t need to cover your house in notes, but if you have a contentious issue and you find yourself nagging or saying no about it a lot, then try a note.

I’ve seen people put one on the table which says “No climbing”; in a hallway where neighbours complain about kids running, saying “Use tiptoes”; or on a glass cupboard and the note says “Fragile – touch gently.”

I also use this tip to help kids feel heard. If they are having a hard time leaving class, I ask if they’d like me to write a note to remind them for next time. Then I’ll write a note, eg, “playdough” and give it to the to take home. Writing it down that shows I’ve heard and it has been acknowledged. Anyone tried this?

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With summer around the corner I’m getting more questions in class about toilet training and if I have any Montessori tips. So today, here is the approach I prefer when your child is showing interest in using the toilet.

“Learning to use the toilet is a natural process that begins when your child’s desire to be grown up and his neurological development have reached the point where he can control his bladder and bowels. We don’t train children to use the toilet, we support them when they are ready.” (How to Raise an Amazing Child: The Montessori way to bring up caring confident children, by Tim Seldin)

1. A natural, gradual process
Using the toilet is a very natural and gradual process that develops at the child’s pace, rather than when the parent decides the child is going to be toilet ‘trained’.

We can begin very naturally when the child is young, talking with them about their bodily functions as we change their nappy. It is a normal process and we can explain that everyone used the toilet to get rid of the parts of food that our body does not need. It is also a good idea not to give them a negative feeling towards these bodily functions, for example, by making faces when changing their nappy.

A potty can be available from a young age so the child can sit on it and imitate others in the household, even before they have bladder and bowel control.

Children often begin to be interested in toilets around 1 year old. From around this age, the child develops the physical ability to control their bladder and bowel but mostly they just want to flush the toilet or play with the water. The child can be redirected to a more appropriate place for playing with water such as the bathroom sink.

Then when the child becomes interested in dressing and undressing themselves, we can choose clothing they can manage themselves so they can learn to pull their own trousers up and down. Elastic-waisted trousers can be very useful at this time! As disposable nappies are so good at keeping a child dry these days, it can also be nice for your child to wear underpants or training pants around the house as much as possible so the child feels wet and dry. They begin to learn that it feels nicer to be dry and begin to hold for longer periods.

After this very gradual preparation and when the child is showing more interest in sitting on the toilet or potty, you can slowly teach them how to pull down their pants, sit on the toilet/potty, use toilet paper, pull up their pants, flush the toilet and wash their hands.

2. Give independence
Once the child is showing interest in using the toilet and potty, the bathroom can be set up to give the child as much independence as possible.

1. If using a potty, it is a good idea to keep it in the bathroom rather than moving it around the house so your child can always find it
2. The bathroom can also have a pile of cloths for cleaning, a bucket for wet clothing, and a pile of clean underpants.

The child can help by getting some dry underpants and putting any wet pants in the bucket. When a child has involvement in the process, the child has ownership of the process too, not the adult.

3. The adult’s role

“There should be no pressure, no reward or punishment, no adult deciding when the child should learn to use the potty. The environment is prepared and the child is free to explore and imitate in these natural developmental stages.” (The Joyful Child)

It is best for the parent to support the child but not become emotionally involved. To assist the child in the process of learning to use the toilet, the adult can:

1. Find ways to make the child feel confident, for example, a stool for their feet when using a toilet
2. Incorporate toileting into the child’s routine. Offer the potty/toilet at times when the child normally pees, for eg, on waking, before going outside, after coming in from outside, after lunch/before nap etc.
3. Say “It’s time to use the toilet” rather than “Do you want to go to the toilet?” (the answer will always be no) or “I think you need to go to the toilet” (the adult becomes involved). As the child becomes more aware of their body they will be able to tell you, “No, I don’t need to go.” You can then say something like, “Of course, I know you will tell me if you need any help when you need to go.” You can also use an alarm clock set at regular intervals to remind them to go, “The clock says it’s time to use the toilet.”
4. Never force a child to use the toilet or potty
5. Never scold or over-congratulate—going to the toilet is the most normal thing to do and we should keep it in its proper place, for eg, avoid clapping and celebrating
6. Do not interrupt the child to use the toilet—for example, wait until they have finished their puzzle etc before offering the potty.

4. When they don’t make it in time…
If a child becomes wet, stay calm and be reassuring. Do not make them feel ashamed. You may wish to say, “I see you are wet. Let’s go get some dry clothes.” Your child can get them from the supply in the bathroom and even help wipe the floor and wash their hands. Let them change at their own pace and give help if they ask for it or if they are overwhelmed.

If they have wet clothes but they are playing with a toy, you can wipe up around them and wait until they are finished before suggesting you get some dry clothes.

Some issues can cause a setback to toileting, for example, the birth of a younger sibling, a divorce, or some other upheaval in daily life. The problem tends to resolve itself if the adult does not make a big deal about it.

Really the most important tip is to follow your own child.

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10 ways we can show respect to our child

1. Soft hands – the way we handle them
2. Listen – stop and really listen to their words, their expressions, their face and hands
3. Use kind words – even when setting a limit
4. Avoid baby talk – speak to them as we would to an adult
5. Let them know what we appreciate – give feedback “You put all the blocks back in the basket ready for the next person!” (rather than empty praise like “good job”)
6. Allow time (as much as possible) – time for movement, for conversation, to walk at their pace
7. Include them in daily life – let them help contribute, also in family conversations and to make (age-appropriate choices)
8. Find ways to work with them (“Can you help me carry this heavy box inside?”) rather than threaten, bribe or punish them (“If you don’t come inside right now, I’ll…”)
9. Look them in the eye and accept them for who they are – we can teach them skills but it is not our job to change them
10. Let them see how capable they are – set things up for them to have success; provide hands-on learning opportunities that they can master by themselves

Bonus

Be a model of honesty to our child – even if it’s embarrassing at times, our vulnerability will show them that we trust them and they will be honest with us and trust us too. This can also mean apologising when we get something wrong instead of blaming someone else. “I got it wrong. What I should have done is…/What I should have said is…”

Does this mean the child can do whatever they want?

This does not mean that the adult is not in charge. We will set a limit when needed. Not passive. Not aggressive. But in a respectfully assertive way.

“I’m not going to let you keep hitting me. I’m putting you down and I’m going to calm down.”

“I can’t let you hurt your friend. I’m going to sit here between you.”

“That vase can break. I’m going to put it up here and we can find something else to bang.”

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